From Orson Scott Card in his introduction to Speaker for the Dead:

“You see, the work of a storyteller doesn’t get any easier the more experience we get, because once we’ve learned how to do something, we can’t get excited about doing exactly the same thing again—or at least most of us can’t. We keep wanting to reach for the story that is too hard for us to tell—and then make ourselves learn how to tell it. If we succeed, then maybe we can write better and better books, or at least more challenging ones, or at the very least we won’t bore ourselves.

The danger that keeps me just a little frightened with every book I write, however, is that I’ll overreach myself once too often and try to write a story that I’m just plain not talented or skilled enough to write. That’s the dilemma every storyteller faces. It is painful to fail. But it is far sadder when a storyteller stops wanting to try.”

I’ve been thinking lately about God’s promise that one day all things will be made new. It’s not just better, nicer, fixed, or even complete, but brand-spanking-new (probably without so much spanking). And it isn’t some things, but all. I don’t think the implication is that all things will be obliterated and replaced by something different (similar to the flood). The things which exist now will still somehow exist, but they’ll be new, transformed into a completely different state, one of perfection (like that scene in The Great Divorce where the evil lizard is transformed into a great unicorn). It’s hard to imagine what that means exactly, or how it will look, like trying to think of a new color that’s unlike any other color we’ve ever seen. We’re so used to the way things are, it’s hard to imagine everything we’ve known suddenly changing.

I feel like the more I hear about world events the more I realize how desperate and dying this place is. While we can make an impact for the better, it’s going to take more than all the humanitarian effort in the world to make everything good and right again. I can’t believe the theory that we, as humans, move in a constant upward motion, drawing closer and closer to utopia, evolving ourselves into perfection. No, it is the opposite; we had it and now we’re falling farther and farther from it, at ever increasing speeds. Politicians promise change, but rarely do their promises hold weight. Advertisements promise fulfillment. I love how this is exemplified in Blue Sky’s film Robots with with slogan, “Why be you when you can be new?” And yet no matter how much stuff we buy, it only feeds the insatiable craving for more. Are these the things we should place our hope in? People and products will always let us down, but in the smoldering ruins of our misplaced hopes and feeble attempts to fix ourselves, there remains God’s promise of newness, immovable and brilliantly shining. Although its final completion is still far off, real and effectual change can start now. Newness is for today.

Isaiah 65:17-19

For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth;
And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create;
For behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing,
And her people a joy.
I will rejoice in Jerusalem,
And joy in My people;
The voice of weeping shall no longer be heard in her,
Nor the voice of crying.

Lord help me to live out the logical conclusion of what I claim to believe

and then to proclaim what I live

It is peculiar to me that the the right thing to do is most often the harder and less enjoyable thing to do. For example, hardly anyone wants to do homework or enjoys doing it, but it’s still obviously the right thing to do, at least if you plan to have a successful career in the future. And while the doing of the thing might not be pleasant, the results often are. However, even if they aren’t, we should still do it, not for the benefit of future reward, but simply because it is the right, correct, good, honest, just, etc thing. Christ suffered the full penalty of sin, not because He would get the glory after, but because He was acting in obedience to the Father. And if ever the right thing was the harder thing, it definitely was then.

I just wish it didn’t have to be quite so hard, with so much struggle and resistance. I mean, if it were easy, everyone would do it. And then things would just be better all around. But I suppose it’s silly to wish things were different, this is the way they are and I’ve got to learn to live with it, c’est la vie. Still, I think that as we practice those good things, it is like tracing over the same lines on stone, eventually, after a good deal of time and practice they become ingrained in us. While they were very difficult at first, they become easier and easier. So we’re working toward a disposition where we no longer have to strive to do the right thing, it just comes naturally. I like that. It will be a good day when it finally comes to fruition. I belive, in small ways, it’s already starting to happen.

Finally, the weather has cooled off and it actually feels like fall. Being a person who prefers a cooler climate, I love it.

Yesterday I went with a bunch of friends to Julian. We stood in a lot of lines, bought bread from Dudley’s, picked apples in an orchard, and ate apple pie. It’s been many years since I’d been there and it was a deliciously satisfying experience.

I also had a board game night at my place on Saturday. Amy kinda put it together actually. It was fun, despite a certain individual not being able to attend. I really do enjoy being the board game guy, or as I sometimes prefer “Game Master.” It’s a role I’ve grown into nicely and one I hope to maintain for many years to come, though my purchasing of boardgames and room to store them has decreased dramatically.

While working on the freelance web design job, I stumbled upon this nifty little site, called kuler

It’s pretty handy when it comes to coming up with some color schemes, and I enjoy just browsing through the ones other people have made.

There are few things in the world that rival my dislike for Jury Duty. It is a black curse upon my own well being. It’s not really the service itself, just the rude, impudent, apathetic interruption into my personal life. Thus far, I have done my best to avoid it, though often at the expense of my own time and sanity. But now, my fate is doomed as I have been called to serve in the Federal Court for a few weeks next month and there’s basically no way to get out of it. Bummer.

Aaron = 4, Court System = 1

They’ve even picked out a specific case for me and sent me a detailed questioner, asking some rather personal questions such as “What are your favorite pastime hobbies?” and “Have you purchased a handbag? If so, how much was the most expensive handbag you’ve purchased?” I’m surprised they didn’t ask me what flavor cheese I prefer or how many times I bathe on average in a given week. Either way, I’d still have sworn that my answers were true to the best of my knowledge, that is, until I go out and buy a handbag or take up shuffleboard as a new hobby.

So, I’m in a state of defeat. I’m sure the whole thing won’t be half as bad as I make it out to be and maybe I’ll even like it. At least it will be a new experience and maybe they won’t bug me again for a couple months.

Last night I went to Epic. It’s a weekly church event put on by Shadow Mountain for people around my age. After the grand-scale production worship was finished, they had four speakers come up and give us a little taste of what they’d be talking about that evening. Then we split up into separate groups, following whichever speaker we were interested in hearing. One man said he’d be talking about his time spent living with cannibals in ooga booga land. So I followed him.

I can’t remember the guy’s name, but he talked about his missionary work in Papua New Guinea and then about missions in general. It was very good. I think he’d been there for quite a while and his son, who he had sent back to the US for school, eventually left a lucrative job to go be a missionary there with his dad. I enjoyed that it wasn’t the typical message you’d expect to hear.

He told us how long term mission work is not the fun vacation some people might imagine it to be and the personal reward is very little. The toughest part is making it through the first couple of years. And it wasn’t until three or four years in that they could even begin to preach the gospel. There were a lot of difficulties and spending a day without relying on God was basically unthinkable. (A stark contrast to my life)

He talked about how he’d never received a special “call” he just went, even though it was against where his natural talents and abilities would have led him. And he said that later when he was a teacher back in the States people would come up trying to impress him by saying they were “interested in” or “considering” missions. He explained that this was akin to telling your wife you’d be interested in or willing to consider being faithful to her. He talked about the great commission and just how important it is to reach the rest of the world.

All that to say, it was very convicting and challenging. Most of the excuses I’d had were dashed to pieces. Personally, I don’t know if I’m supposed to go into foreign missions or not. I don’t feel particularly led to go right now but at the same time, I have no good reasons not to. It’s something I hope to remain open to and, if led, that I’d be willing to do. When I take an honest look at my life, I feel that so little of what I spend my time doing really matters much. And that is saying a lot since I consider myself to be a very productive person. Perhaps my biggest fear of all is to find out that I’d wasted my life. But I really don’t know what else I’m supposed to be doing right now. That’s not to say that I think everything I’ve done has been a complete waste and my time spent in service has been meaningless. But I know there must be a whole lot more in store. I cannot be satisfied with medeocrity.

So I’m officially unemployed and back home again. Well, not the eternal home, just living at my folk’s pad once more. It helps knowing that people care.

My last day of work was very good as far as last days go. A bunch of us went out for lunch and ate way too much Soul Food (why is it that many things taste so much better when smothered in gravy?). Then after work a few of us went out to this groovy restaurant/bar in downtown LA. Also, I managed to swing a little freelance web design job through my friend Mike Hicks. Really it was all as good as could be expected. I may be selfish for saying so, but it was nice to feel like people would really miss me once I was gone.

Packing up and driving home the next day felt a little surreal. I guess it just takes time for the mind to accept big changes. I’ve been living in two places for a while now and I hadn’t realized how much stuff I’d accumulated throughout my stay in LA. Fortunately, I had enough room in my car and I only forgot one thing, but it wasn’t terribly important. Also, a friend who I haven’t seen in a while called me on the drive back, which was pretty cool.

It’s odd that for a while I was looking forward to getting out of LA but now that I have to go, I can tell I’m going to miss it. Well, I’ll miss the people at least. I guess that’s life for you. God doesn’t want us to get comfortable and I’m sure that’s a good thing. Here’s to an onward and upward vision.

Also, here is a quote I’ve been wanting to share but just never got around to doing it. It doesn’t really relate to the rest of this post, I just thought it was a good one.

“People come to the altar singing ‘Just as I am’ and leave just as they were - a church that teaches what to believe but not how to live. A church that is scared of spiritual disciplines like simplicity, fasting, solitude, and chastity will not produce very good disciples.”
-Shane Claiborne