Quite a lot has happened:

After being back from the Philippines for a week and some change, I was sent there again, but this time for a whole month. Upon my re-return, I went on a four day backpacking trip in Yosemite with my sister and a friend. Now that I’m back at work again, we’ve got a crazy schedule because of a really important project that I’ll probably talk more about later. Also, while all that was going on, LOST concluded their final season. And some other things happened too; like a giant hole opening up in the earth, a 13 year old reaching the top of Everest, and the World Cup kicking off (yes, it’s a pun).

So there you have it, my life and some world events in an eggshell.

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On a completely unrelated note, if you frequent this site much, you’ve probably noticed a lack of posts (more so than usual I mean). This is intentional. I’ve really enjoyed this blog and the discussions that have come from it. I thank each one of you for reading it. But it’s going to be getting a lot quieter around here. The main reason is I just don’t feel like I have a lot left to say, in this format anyhow. Sure, I could go on with many ideas and thoughts on life, my experiences, etc. but I think my words have become circular lately, looping back to the same basic ideas. This is not a bad thing, it’s just not as interesting to read. Also, I’d like to devote my time to other forms of expression, namely animation and creative writing. Perhaps they will give birth to a new blog or maybe I’ll revise this one.

Now, I don’t plan on just quitting altogether. I’ll continue to post updates on my life like the one above. But let’s be honest, I don’t think you’d be all that interested in the day-to-day updates of what’s happening with me. I wouldn’t even read that. I’ll let you know about the big things though. And if I think of something really important to write about, well heck, I’m gonna write about it. Also, I hope to keep making contributions to the OLW blog now and then.

If you still want to continue reading what I post here, I suggest setting up an RSS feed, that way you don’t have to keep checking back here only to be annoyed that I still haven’t posted anything. Actually, if you follow more than one blog, it only makes sense to set up and RSS feed.

Speaking of keeping up with blogs, you might be wondering if this means I’m dropping out of the blogging community. Certainly not. In fact, if you post here and have a blog, I’m reading it. I’m subscribed to around 12 active blogs, 25 total, though most of them aren’t exactly what you would call active. So I’m doing my best to keep up with what’s going on in other people’s lives, as much as I have time to do so.

All that to say, I’ll still be around, just doing other things.

-Aaron

In the end, I think a lot of us simply prefer stagnation. We don’t want to leave the comforts of childhood to face real danger on our own. We don’t want to prove ourselves because it’s too much effort. We don’t want to be tested in case we discover that we’re failures, even though by not trying we’ve automatically become so. I find myself tempted to fall into the Peter Pan syndrome, not wanting to grow up, face difficulties, make sacrifices, and accept responsibility. I’m not saying we shouldn’t find joy in the little things of life. I truly admire those who find satisfaction in simplicity and I hope to follow their patterns. We should be thankful in all circumstances. But I must be on guard not to find contentment in the mundane. Have I resolved to build sandcastles on the shores of experience when an entire ocean awaits for me to explore? Am I so afraid of leaving behind what is comfortable that I’ve chosen a life of spiritual paralysis? These are things I must ask myself.

Thankfully, God tests us, whether we like it or not. I often remind myself that everything is a test. In a rather extreme example, God had Abraham prove his faithfulness by offering the one thing he cared about most, his only son. And not just any only son, but the one God had promised Abraham even though he and his wife we far beyond child-bearing years. Sure, God already knew the outcome beforehand, but I wonder what effect the experience had on Abraham and his son Isaac (who, I believe, was a young man at that point). And what an encouragement that story is to us now. Unlike many tribal rites of passage, God’s method is not a one-shot deal where failure is irreversible. Instead, we are constantly being tested. Testing is a purification process, comparable to the way gold or silver are refined through fire. Remarkably, God can work even through our failures. So I hope that I will face the next challenge willingly, seeing it as an opportunity for growth, knowing that, while it may seem terrifying, the outcome far outweighs the deceptive comforts of just giving up.

For me, there is no life outside of Christ. Without Christ, I’d quite possibly be physically deceased and would undoubtedly be spiritually and morally lifeless. And I don’t mean lifeless as in what happens after something has lived for a time, but as in having never once lived, a complete absence of even the faintest trace of life. Non-life.

Am I a better person for thinking this? Of course not. I am just as quick to give in to worldly thought and worldly living as the average Christ-follower, indeed, even more so. I’m outrageously susceptible to sin and am constantly underestimating its terrible power and influence in my own life. Nevertheless, when it comes to finding real appeal from adopting other worldviews, I simply cannot. I see no hope outside of Christ. I agree with Peter in John 6:68 when he replies to Jesus, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” There is nowhere else to turn, nothing else that makes sense to me, no one else who offers an honest, practical, powerful, and reasonable solution to the problems of the human condition. I find no joy, no comfort, no meaning save that which comes from the death and resurrection of Christ. Without it I am forever lost; a creature most pitiable, doomed to roam in futility until its day of ultimate nonexistence. But in Christ I have life; eternal, glorious, victorious, abundant life! May it ever be so.

Is it wrong to sometimes want so badly for things to be very different? So many of us, myself included, live better than any king ever did, with luxuries surpassing even the grandest imagination of those wealthy rulers from ages past. And yet we are so secluded, so feeble, so vain, so wasteful, so careless, so heartless, and so alone. I heard recently that worship is the only real solution to loneliness. I believe it.

These are dark times and I can see them getting darker. But alas, it is night, and it is always difficult to see anything clearly in the dark. Life becomes complicated and convoluted. The doubts start to overwhelm that inner joy. Still, the day is coming. As the sun faithfully rises once more, its beams streaming across my face, awaking me from slumber, I also rise, allowing air to again fill my lungs, knowing that I’ve been given yet another chance. And as I gaze out upon the world before me, I think, “you haven’t lost me yet.”